Hello my rebels and not so rebels!
I suck, it’s been a while since I’ve written. I had to take a while off because as always life throws you curve balls when you least expect it. My health has been giving me a run for my money but I’m working on it and now it’s time to get back to it. In the meantime, I’ve decided that if I can’t give you something of quality, I’m not going to give you a crap post.
I have so many topics I want to get into but before I do any of that (keep a look out the next couple weeks… there’s some good stuff coming) I decided it’s time for an update on this journey lately, so let’s do this.
I’m a year and a few months into this journey of growth and it’s been amazing so far.
To be clear, when I say amazing, I don’t mean as in it’s been a smooth, easy ride, because it most definitely hasn’t been. I mean amazing as in the bumps in the road are constantly reminding me of the path I want to be on.
I’m sitting here now looking back at the woman I was last year, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and I can see why that woman was stuck in that stagnant phase as long as I was.
I don’t know if you guys look at your Facebook memories or that Timehop app but some of those memories pop up and have you shook. Lol you’re literally reliving those moments…. You find yourself looking at old thoughts you posted on social media, old pictures, memes that were relevant to the time. Those memories take you back to the person you used to be.
I often find myself looking at those memories comparing who I used to be, how I used to look, how I used to speak and express myself to how I am now; all I think of is….
Oh shit…. I have grown.
My commitment to self-care and self-growth has changed incredibly. That whole “Love & Light” mentality is strong over here. lol I’m even making an honest effort to take care of myself. I don’t even handle situations placed in front of me how I used to. Think before you speak Val, think before you speak. Lol that’s my reminder to keep it together sometimes. Day to day life, the routine that my kids and I have now, even how I interact with the people I consider to be my friends… I’ve grown. I’ve made it a point to go outside and just enjoy nature more, not just by myself but with my kids too. We’ve started getting into other sports not just for my daughter but for my son. She’s wanting to play basketball, try dance and my son is ready to play soccer like his daddy. I can’t wait!
For me, don’t get me wrong cheer is still life but I’m looking to move forward with cheer in one capacity or another. It’s time for cheer to fit into my growth if I want to keep doing what I am passionate about.
In my growth I’ve made sure that I pay attention to what makes my heart happy. I spend quality time with myself and my kids more and make sure we live in the now a bit more.
This phase I’m going through has taught me to stay true to my passions a bit more about lately. I’ve been actively trying to write more; more so to keep track of my thoughts and feelings better than I did before which is probably why I haven’t posted on here. I’ll say though it’s helping me stay focused on all the projects I have in the works. I’m ready to push myself to see what my potential really is. This blog has been my saving grace to be honest. As I’ve mentioned in my first blog post I love to write and between writing in my journal and focusing on the direction I want to take my blog next, this has been huge. There’s a shift in energy lately and I’ll take it… (yes, I believe in energy lol)
2019 has been dealing me some “cards”, the type of cards that most people would give back and ask for a new hand lol or just simply fold. Heck normally I would fold. I would have tapped out a long time ago and ran the opposite direction before I took the time to address the “cards” life has dealt lately. With that said, I’m proud of myself for facing stuff head on, making decisions and sticking with them, setting boundaries and making sure they’re respected.
My relationship with God has helped me begin to look at all the “cards” I’ve been dealt with as a test.
A HUGE TEST!
You’re probably thinking everyone goes through shit Val, how is this test and not just a life lesson? Well it normally takes me a little bit to learn life lessons lol I’ve had to repeat a few events before I learned and moved on. As I mentioned previously, I’ve consciously been making better decisions and handling life in a more positive way….
Here comes the test…
My character has been tested, my friendships have been tested, my loyalty has been tested… almost to the point to where I might have been okay with either giving somebody the business or catching a charge a few times lately lol and that’s NOT growth. That’s how I knew I was being tested… old me would have given in to emotion rather than logic in these moments of madness and made them worse.
Then you add in there that I’m a single mom and there comes more tests. I waited over a year before I decided that I was healed and ready to move on. I couldn’t give a man a broken woman. That wouldn’t be fair to anyone. Seriously though, how am I supposed to choose a guy to date when they say they like me before a real conversation? Lol How sway?? You don’t even know me.
For real it is not easy choosing who to even have a conversation with nowadays and most of the time it comes from social media. I’m convinced there’s no need for dating apps. All you have to do is post a few selfies and memes about relationships and the guy from Texas will hit you up asking you out or the female from Cali, yes there have been females too, who think you look “sexy as hell” and want to “wife you up”. (these are real messages btw) Lol It’s interesting to be in the dating game now because guys will ask me on a date and for a while and still to this day, I say I’m not ready to be out with anyone like that they automatically think I’m sitting here talking about marriage or a relationship.
“Nah buddy I just can tell from this conversation that this isn’t going anywhere.”
I don’t want to hear about how beautiful I am, how you want to kiss my lips, how I have a fat ass and anything else like that repeatedly and think I’m going to want to hang out with you. Lol Now I’m just like any woman; I love a compliment here and there but if we can’t have a conversation of substance and all you tell me is superficial stuff about me, I don’t really want to waste anyone’s time.
Dating life is going to be one that’s going to take up a whole post and we’re not doing that today lol but that’s pretty much it. This journey of growth has been an insightful one so far. It’s been trying, I’ve been tested but I think I’m holding strong. I’m not in a rush to get in a relationship or stir the pot of life just yet BUT I do know that I am open and ready. I’ll know when he’s the one, whoever he is…. And Life…. Just keep dealing me these cards… I’m ready.
As you know I like to ask my social media followers random questions on different topics every now and then… recently I had a good topic for them…. “Do you check your significant other’s phone? Do you share passwords? And for those that don’t, would you look at that as an invasion of privacy?”
The answers were great! I love to see how people see relationships from their perspective.