Dating… why is it even called that?!

Hello my rebels and not so rebels!

It’s been a while and please forgive me, health issues (we’ll talk about that soon, I promise), parent life and cheer life has gotten the best of me but I’m going to make more of an effort to post more.

Consistency is key! (in case I forgot)

I told you all a few posts ago that I would take you along this journey of mine of being a newly single mom again and let me tell you what, being single in a time where social media and technology is life and attempting to get to know someone these days is not the easiest.

I feel SO old and I’m not even in my mid 30’s yet… I just started this 30’s journey and I feel like I’m ancient. lol this whole getting to know new people thing sometimes just doesn’t come as easy to me as it used to.

Dating as a single parent (a busy parent in my case between cheer, full time job and picking up extra shifts when I don’t have my kids) has become more of a let’s text forever and make plans to chill and when it’s finally time to hang out, or I’m available to go on a “date”, it’s more of a let’s go over each other’s house and watch movies, let’s go out to the bar to get drink, let’s avoid ACTUALLY getting an initial interaction and build off of that.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m guilty as hell myself, I’m learning NOT to go ghost on people in my life. I’ve gotten to a point in life where I just don’t entertain the idea of building any type of relationship with someone when I don’t feel like red flags are present upfront.

2018 has made people super vulnerable and sensitive so I’m trying to be more aware of the other persons feelings. Lol #Sagittariusproblems

I’m literally stuck between, do I want to even put the effort in to build something new OR just ride the single train foreverrrrr. Being a mom I have so many things to take into consideration when it comes to bringing a man into my life especially my children’s life.

They don’t need fathers, they have their own but to be in a man in my life I have to feel like you ride 110% for them like you ride for me. Plain and simple.

I’m open to dating and first dates and eventually, like 4-5 dates in, I’m all for a bar hopping night to get drunk but dang right off the bat?! lol Aren’t you supposed to get to know someone before you act like you’ve known each other for years based off a few text messages or phone conversations being exchanged.

Image result for hopeless romantic tattoo

I guess I’m a hopeless romantic to a fault, a complete fault because I would like to be swooned over just a little bit. Take me to dinner, ask me to dress up for you, lets do something where we can actually have conversation and get to know one another. Past what my favorite color, music and food is.

Let’s go try something new, see something new, teach me something.

I’m just saying guys, don’t fall for this new school hype that stalking her and liking all of a females pictures on “the gram” or on facebook is the way to win her. If you’re thinking about her, text her, if you want to spend time with her, plan a date for you two, be willing to be in a space to grow together. (Like actually say hey this Friday, let’s go to dinner at 8p., this restaurant… or hey did you see the moon tonight?? Lol we/ I appreciate stuff like that.)

Dating as a single mom in my 30’s has taught me that I’m actually thankful for all of my past relationships. Although I am a bit more particular in what I’m looking for in a man in my life, I have faith that the right love will find me as I have ZERO intentions of looking for it. lol

I approach life as always, open mind, open heart.

The next few weeks I’ll be posting some topics that have come up and even some random poems/writings that I’ve put together in this time. Let me know what you think!

– Val Monique

P.S. Dating (text dating) sucks lol

Image result for dating after 30

3 Comments Add yours

  1. Adam says:

    This is a great post. I feel like many people, single women in general, have the short end of the stick when it comes to relationships. This fast paced, 30 second attention span society we live in doesn’t allow for guys to take time like they should. I can’t speak from a single dude’s point of view but I can empathize with single women when they say it’s hard to find good apples when all of them are already fallen from the tree.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Meaka Hollis says:

    Yassss friend! Very well stated and unfortunately the truth of how technology is impacting our relationships. Keep writing!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Albert J Music says:

    Dating nowadays is completely like a lottery in by chance… I feel like you have a much better chance of dating someone you’ve already known then finding somebody new per se. Everything is very skewed and backwards when it comes to dating. And while I agree with the hopeless romantic feeling because I share in that a lot… I found that some of my best experiences with people in a dating atmosphere is simplicity… Walks by a river… Simple sit-downs outside and talks… He’ll even just coming over to our house and watching television without the implication of sex. It’s all very very situational and much like a lottery. Kudos to you Mama

    Liked by 1 person

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