Hello my rebels and not so rebels!
When I first came up with the idea of starting a blog I asked for suggestions on topics to write on. One of these topics caught my eye and inspired me to do some research before I chose to dive right into the deep end of this topic.
The topic at hand is one question, one question that I posed to both men and women,
“If you could cheat without consequence or able to get away with it, would you?”
I started this mini project with my own views on cheating, being someone who has cheated, been cheated on and been the person someone has cheated with I figured I had an insight that either not many have experienced or more have experienced and just didn’t want to admit to it, the only way I would find out is by asking, in which I did and received GREAT responses.
Before I go into my own specific thoughts, (forgive me in advance, this one is going to be a long one), here’s a few things I encountered upon beginning my research. I’m not sure if you’ve come across the new Netflix Series called “Explained” but they choose certain topics and go a little more in depth to each subject.
By the universe’s design there was an episode where they specifically spoke about monogamy, “Monogamy, Explained.” In this episode you learn the evolution of marriage, families and how common it was for men to have multiple partners. Now I’m sure there were women out there who had multiples also but in this case, men were the highlight of this episode. Although the focus on the episode is about married couples, it touched a few items that were pretty interesting and lined up with a lot of the different responses I received from different men and women.
Upon presenting this same question to men and women alike I’m not sure what type of answers I expected, I genuinely wasn’t sure what to expect. Who would cheat? Would someone admit they would cheat? Is someone in this situation now? I felt like I was opening up a can of worms that I was super excited for.
Most men and women actually had the same exact views on cheating without consequence, their morals would not allow for it. Although there would be what is considered a “free pass” more people found it more important to show their loved one that they respected them and their own person before stepping out. Instant gratification isn’t worth the karma that is returned. Most of the men I spoke to agreed, it takes too much effort to maintain one partner, let alone multiple. Then of course comes the biggest factor you risk your health by having multiple partners.
However upon presenting this question I received some unexpected responses that I found so intriguing to learn about and that is the concept of polyamorous relationships.
For those of you that don’t know the definition of polyamory is the philosophy or state of being in love or romantically involved with more than one person at the same time.
Now me being me I found that super interesting because being a proud Latina, there’s no way in HELL I’m sharing my man/partner/nada, I don’t even like sharing my food with my kids (…judge away). However according to research from a 2016 poll, 1 in 3 women feel like a polyamorous relationship is ideal and 1 in 5 men are actually in a polyamorous relationship. They have an understanding and that I can respect, being that I’m mildly traditional in the aspect of my relationships, I can appreciate how they have chosen to make their relationship work. Showing that no matter what love is love.
I will admit getting all of these responses both different and alike, truly gave me hope in humankind, at least the ones in relationships.
As I mentioned previously I have been cheated on, been cheated with and I have cheated; being the woman I have grown to be now, there is simply no way I could see myself cheating let alone risking my relationship for a fling (that’s what they are majority of the time). Now due to the fact that we ALL have a past and we all have made questionable decisions at one point in our lives, had this question been presented to me 15 years ago (ooph, I’m showing my age lol) my answer may very well not be the same because head space, I wasn’t where I am now.
I only say that because I feel I should be transparent in this response. We all make mistakes, we all make choices that we aren’t always proud of which is why I have to be honest in past Val’s response compared to the more mature Val’s response.
Shout out to Growth!
Let me know your thoughts below, if you had the chance to cheat and not get caught, would you? Hmmmm…. That’s a good question.
Keep a look out for my next post:
I’ve recently become super into podcasts and I can’t wait to tell you about my favorite ones and even some insight from a few podcast hosts.
– Val Monique